What happens if we yearn for change along with growth in our lives, suddenly, we are presented with the means for which we have longed. For anyone who is like me, an inside part of you responds with the excited “Yes, yes, sure! ” Then fear switches in, and your mind commences its flurry of all the logic behind why you should retreat and remain where all is known — its version of safe and sound.
About three months ago, We responded to a job opening that could provide the opportunity I had yearned for to stretch as well as grow professionally. It was exactly the same position that I had spoken myself out of applying for annually previously. At that time, I had experienced the same excitement about the opportunities that this position presented.
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I had formed even queried the movie director about the position, and then, I talked myself out of it. At first, that decision felt safe and secure, however, it wasn’t long before I regretted my decision to pull again. I had played it harmless, or safe as my thoughts perceived it, and I possessed missed an opportunity to respond to this inner calling and to distribute my wings.
It was almost during the next year that the same position ended up being posted, and this time there was not one opening but a pair of. I sensed that I had been given another opportunity, knowing that if I didn’t take advantage of the idea this time, the opportunity might not appear again. Knowing my trend toward self-sabotage, I explained to my daughter and a special friend about the position along with my intention to apply in order that they could help to hold me responsible for my oft-expressed wish to stretch and grow.
The consequence of that application was a work offer. In the moment that I stated yes, the wheels had been set in motion for a momentous living change – not only a work change but an actual physical move as well – as well as an opportunity to put into practice all that We have learned on my path to religious awareness. It soon grew to become clear that I didn’t identify the opportunity at first.
As I came into the first days and several weeks of this transition, I experienced like I was in the midst of a good inner battle. I know that the word “battle” sounds melodramatic and overstated, but which is how it felt. Just as much as I had yearned for just this kind of opportunity, at the moment that I stated yes, the floodgates to any or all my fears and insecurities about moving into the unfamiliar opened. Wave after say of intense fear flower in me. All of the aches of previous moves that were motivated by heartbreak plus the need to get out of unhealthy lifestyle situations clutched at my cardiovascular system again.
It seemed to us that I had to push through typically the wall of fear which rose again and again within us, or it would keep us small and limited. If I planned to live freely and comply with my soul’s calling, I had fashioned to ride out precisely what felt like an inner struggle between expansion and the inside freedom to be all that I am able to be versus contraction along with self-limiting beliefs. As I develop to function in the midst of all this inside contraction, the arrangements intended for my move kept dropping into place… in spite of me personally.
Everywhere I turned, there have been people to guide me and also support each step that I required. Even as emotions overwhelmed me personally, again and again, I received peace of mind and affirmations from each and every direction. It seemed that as soon as I said indeed, the Universe took as well as guided me at every stage.
I began to note communications of support for enhancements made on the daily quotes as well as inspirational messages that I get. My daily readings from the Course in Miracles really helped to ground me throughout the reflection and prayer website that started my day, nevertheless, I struggled to maintain this inner knowing through the moment.
I knew that I needed support, and I cried out to Holy Spirit to guide me by way of this inner challenge. At that point, I was called back to typically the untethered soul by Meters A. Singer. As I re-immersed myself in his writing, My spouse and I realized that it wasn’t an inner battle that I ended up experiencing; it was a publishing and cleansing of worries, self-limiting beliefs, and aged pain that I had secured down within me for a long time.
I didn’t have to battle with or through these types of intense contractions; I did not need to get drawn into the draw of their powerful energy. Almost all I had to do was to become the one who observed the repeating waves of emotional discomfort that rose within me personally. At the moment that I felt an internal contraction, I had to make a mindful decision to get centred inside my soul and take notice of the rising energy. I understood very quickly that when I got the observer role, outdated pain hurt but it was published and passed. When I raised on into it, it strengthened along with took me over.
This kind of became my practice: see that inner contraction at the moment the idea began, observe it, and enable it to release. Every time industry, I repeated over and over for you to myself “I AM. very well Those two words grounded me in my true information in the face of limitations imposed by simply old beliefs and health. Several weeks into this period involving transition, I am here to inform you that the practice functions.
The fear and pain keep rising within me, but the strength and frequency have been licentious considerably. With each unpleasant memory that rises, along with each fear that efforts to limit me, We recognize and celebrate the actual cleansing that is occurring. This really is my path to true internal freedom. It is not a battleground nor is it something that I must try to push through. I just need to observe, release, and allow the actual purging of all that acts to limit and have me back. I just really need to get out of my head in addition to out of the way.
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